All he wants is your body...

A young couple is passing nearby an outdoors feminist gathering, holding hands. The speaker of the gathering notices them and shouts to the woman over the microphone "don't bother too much with him, all he wants is your body!". Without wasting a second, she snaps back: "I hope so! I sure don't have any money..."!

Ontological Paradox resolved

Two friends A and B are casually talking and time travel enters the conversation:

...
A: Do you believe in time travel?
B: Are you serious? Of course!
A: You mean of course not?
B: No! I mean of course I do!
A: (Surprised) Are you serious? You've never told me that. How come?
B: Not only I believe in it. I do it all the time!
A: (Even more surprised) What do you mean? Really?
B: Sure! Just yesterday I traveled back to the Golden Age of Pericles in Athens, for a while.
A: (Very excited) You really mean that? That's incredible! What did you see, did you see the Parthenon being built?
B: No, I'm afraid not.
A: Did you see Pericles speaking in agora?
B: No, I'm afraid not.
A: Did you see Phidias sculpting the golden statue of goddess Athena?
B: Unfortunately I didn't see that either...
A: What did you see then?
B: Mmm, to be entirely honest, I couldn't see anything at all...
A: (Deeply disappointed) Oh no, what a pity! Why, what happened, something went wrong with your time machine?
B: No, everything was ok, exactly as it was at the time but, you see, I couldn't see anything myself because, back then, I hadn't been born!